Welcome home New Jersey
To another rainy day
Splattered sidewalk cement
Skies weary, splattered gray
People wander on the streets
While thinking where to go
They dawdle, trying to defeat
The prospect of going home
Lethargic in existence
Our lies become our truth
We’ve beaten out our elderly
We’re stomping out our youth
With both masquerade and bandstand
We’ve enchanted our scenic Jersey land
(Amen to those who last the night)
i know it's not all that good, as it's just not my style, but it's just something i jotted down in science class today that was actually legible...
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now that is a poem after mine own heart
Great rhyme, good rhythm, and a nice sentimental subject. A+.
Only comment is that I think it finishes a bit suddenly, perhaps you could have added a line that makes reference in some way to the first lines.
Love it!!! Great rhythm.